Week 3 - Saturday/Sunday

     This weekend sucked. A lot. But no worries – it’s much better now!

     Saturday morning my squad took a little trip to the Shoppette, where I bought some laundry detergent and withdrew $200 from my checking account for my class dues (still have to pay $150 more in June!). I would say that it’s been nice to save some money while I’ve been in training, but I’m trying to pay off my car, so no saving for me. Second Lieutenant pay will be SOOO nice in a couple months.

     Saturday afternoon, we took our required knowledge test (over Troop Leading Procedures & Military Aspects of Terrain). We also watched the first episode of Band of Brothers with our duty trainer as a “training video”. It was more like he wanted to keep us busy without irritating us too much. Then, he released us to what I THOUGHT was personal time. Apparently not. Around 19:30, he came upstairs and busted about 35 people for being on the internet. One of those people was me – I was actually watching “We Were Soldiers” on iTunes, but clearly not studying. Anyways, I got stuck with a counseling statement and probably a Class II write-up (I will find out Monday). Boo hoo for me, right? Next time, I will definitely confirm it’s personal time before I break my computer or cell phone out. One text message, Facebook post, or movie scene is not worth getting recycled for!

     On the flip side, I had a glorious morning at church. I think the service was planned just for me. Since I had spent most of the prior night feeling down on myself, I really needed a pick-me-up. We sang “Better is One Day”, which is one of my favorite worship songs, and it reminded me that the struggles I deal with in this life will not matter in the end. I will always, always have that “one day” to look forward to and not be afraid of.

     So, in conclusion, I learned to let go this weekend. Let go of things you cannot control. It’s not worth the stress. Don’t forget to pray, either. And eat peanut butter cookies at church. 

P.S. Happy Mother's Day, Mama!

Better is One Day:

How lovely is your dwelling place, Oh Lord Almighty

For my soul longs and even faints for you

Oh here my heart is satisfied within your presence

I sing beneath the shadow of your wings

Better is one day in your courts, better is one day in your house,

Better is one day in your courts than thousands elsewhere

One thing I ask, and I would seek, to see your beauty

To find you in the place your glory dwells

One thing I ask, and I would seek, to see your beauty

To find you in the place your glory dwells

My heart and flesh cry out to you the living God

Your Spirit's water to my soul, I've tasted and I've seen

Come once again to me

I will draw near to You, I will draw near to You

Better is one day in your courts, better is one day in your house,
Better is one day in your courts than thousands elsewhere

Week 3 - Thursday/Friday

     It’s almost the weekend!!! The last two days have been very stressful, but very rewarding. On Thursday morning, we completed the 3-mile (which was actually 3.3 mi because the track is 1.1 mi apparently) release run. My original goal was to finish in under 27:00, but I ended up completing the run in 24:20. When you break it down, my average pace was 7:22. Holy crap, I didn’t think I had it in me! The first mile was easy and fast, but around the 1.5 mile mark, I hit a wall for about a half mile. My third mile was great – I sprinted the last quarter to the finish line. Seeing how fast I ran, I know I will be able to max out my run time for the next APFT (Army physical fitness test). Now I just have to work on my sit-ups and I will be able to get at least a 300/300! Maybe by the end of OCS, I’ll be on the extended scale.

     The rest of the day Thursday was spent in la-la land. Apparently we had a couple classes on leadership and personnel management, but I can’t recall learning a whole lot. After dinner chow, I went to Bible study at the Airborne chapel, then came back to crank out my Constitution paper in the hour before lights out.

     This morning my platoon did simple stretching for PT in light of the infamous Bolton Obstacle Course this afternoon. Bolton was such a blast! We did 12 obstacles today that included rope climbs, balancing logs, monkey bars, and the Weaver. The Weaver is basically like an A-frame ladder in which you have to go under one rung and over the next until you reach the other side of the ladder. Basically, you get really bruised up and wear your arms out.

(marching to Bolton - I'm second from the right)

(getting ready to do "6 vaults" - I'm second from the left)

 

(me jumping over a "vault" - we weren't allowed to touch the vaults with anything except our hands)

(putting my gloves on to go down the inverted rope commando style - I was the fastest one all day!)

(shaking the sand out from the low crawl pit)

(my roommate, Nicole, prepping to go down the inverted rope)

(my platoon getting ready to put on a skit for the company - we made a Cera Sport commercial)

(working my way across a spinning metal bar about 12 feet in the air)

(my squad, from left to right - Michalak, Robertson, Nerstad, Sproul, Sergio Garcia, Jackman, Faure, me, Freeman, and Dago Garcia)

     Ironically, my only injury today came from me tripping over a sprinkler on the way to lunch chow. I definitely ate some dirt and scraped my knee up, but will hopefully survive to live another day. Tonight is basically a free night since we’ve got all of our tests out of the way – I’m just trying to get my locker cleaned up and my laundry done since I’ve had absolutely no time this past week. This weekend should be pretty chill, and I’m definitely needing the muscle recovery. Anyways, stay tuned for a post on Sunday!

Week 3 - Wednesday

     We lost our first male today, but this news didn’t come as a surprise to me. The male who was recycled has been struggling a lot with PT, leadership, and academics. To struggle in all three categories puts you on the cadre’s radar for a potential recycle. The tip for staying here is to simply do your best, and to not just “slide by” doing the bare minimum. Even if you were to get recycled, at least you can say you gave it your all.

     I went to the CTMC (Consolidated Troop Medical Center (Clinic?)) this morning to have a doctor look at my skin. Ever since I left for Basic Training, my skin has been taking the brunt of the stress and crazy hormone levels. So, the doctor gave me a really strong benzoyl peroxide wash and a bunch of retin-a and clindamycin creams as well as an oral antibiotic. I’ve got quite the cocktail going, and I really hope it works because, 1. it’s painful, and 2. it’s embarrassing!

     Obviously I’m not here to impress anybody, but it’s hard to build inner confidence when your outward appearance makes you feel like crap. Going from long, thick hair with feminine clothes and make-up to short, messy hair and ACUs is a drastic change. I’ve realized lately how much I used to use my hair, clothes, and make-up as a crutch. Since I’ve been here, I’ve had to rely on my other characteristics, like my humor, integrity, and adventurous spirit, in order to build confidence. My new-found confidence is much more permanent than any sort of materialistic front I’ve put on in my “former life”. Still, I find myself trying to convince people (mostly myself) that I AM feminine and that I DO care about my appearance. But as time goes by here, I start to care less about the tangibles, and more about the intangibles. It’s like getting to know yourself all over again – I had to start at the very beginning, the very pit of myself. Now I know that even if my hair falls out and I look like a leper, I still have the ability to survive and thrive in this world.

     But enough with the mushy stuff. Tomorrow morning we have our first release run. Basically, they take us to the track (which is a 1-mile track) and they start everybody at the same time. The females have to complete 3 laps in 29:15. Next week, we have to complete 4 laps in 38:00, and the week after that we have to complete 5 laps in 46:15. If you take the time to do the math, you’ll see that our pace gradually gets faster. Yeah, pretty funny, right? Nope. Seriously guys, if I can get through that 5-mile release run with my tendons acting up, I will cry big, happy crocodile tears! You’ll see pictures of me crossing the finish line drenched in sweat and tears. It will be such a wonderful day.

     For now though, I just have to get through tomorrow. I’m saving my stress about the 5-mile run for later. I simply don’t have the energy to stress about multiple things at once. Plus, I have to write a 1000-word essay tonight about how the Constitution relates to being an Army officer. Speaking of that, I should probably get started…

Week 3 - Monday/Tuesday

     From a horrible case of the Mondays to a surprisingly refreshing Tuesday, I feel all over the place:

     Monday morning started out rough with an ability group run. My Achilles just can’t seem to keep up with the rest of my body, and the pain is agonizing. I’m so frustrated and scared that I may be held back because of this chronic injury. My ability group didn’t do much more work than we did last week (3 miles of jogging, 1 mile of sprint intervals, and 30 minutes of stairs), but my body begs to differ. At this point, I just don’t know what to do about the pain. There’s only so much ibuprofen I can take, and stretching doesn’t help at all. Please, please, please, if you are reading this, send some prayers up for me. I want to complete this course, and I’ve given up far too much to not finish.

     For the rest of the day Monday, we had classes on leadership & ethics. For seven. freaking. hours. Yeah, you read that right.

     Monday night was very…enlightening. Nicole and I went down to SFC Harris’s office to file some paperwork, and we ended up having a pretty long conversation with one of the recent OCS graduates. She told us how the company is trying to weed the “weak” candidates out by putting them in leadership positions. We just found out who the new squad leaders were that morning, and it broke my heart to know that they might be leaving us soon. Apparently they were the people who were ranked last on the peer evaluations. I thank my lucky stars that I was not elected, because my ego might not be able to take a blow like that. How could anybody possibly receive an accurate peer evaluation at this point in the game? We’ve only been here for 2 ½ weeks. That’s not enough time to see who is going to make a good leader. I’m going to do my best to make sure that our new squad leaders stay here and stay motivated; the cadre don’t need any reasons to recycle people. Needless to say I’m not very impressed with their decision.

     After going to bed frustrated and defeated, I woke up sore and tired around 0430 in order to get ready for our second 5-mile foot march. The pace this morning was apparently quicker than the first march, but I survived! It’s incredibly empowering to overcome these physical obstacles. I’m amazed at what my body can do, and I’ve learned that the majority of the time, it’s my head that gives up before my body does. So if I can get in the right mindset, I can literally do anything as long as my body allows it. And trust me, I will push until my body gives out.

(blurry, but there's me, rucking in the background)

("hydrating" with my roommate Nicole (front left), and team leader Lacy (front right))

     We sat in the classroom for another seven hours today. Yep, leadership classes are THAT important to the military. In my opinion, leadership is not something you can learn in a classroom – it’s something you have to learn through experience. It’s just like you can’t teach infants how to walk by throwing a PowerPoint presentation at them. But hey, I didn’t win the last election, so I don’t get to make the decisions.

     Is that enough whining for one day? For your own sake, please hope that I have a better day tomorrow!

Week 2 - Saturday/Sunday

     Well, the last 2 days have been pretty uneventful. On Saturday morning, we did pyramid push-up drills. We did 3 sets of 10, then 1 set of 20, then 30, then 40, then back down to 10 again. My arms were shaking for the rest of the day! We also did some ab work which consisted of pyramid leg throws. After the company PT drills, my roommate Nicole and I walked over to the obstacle course and did some dips, pull-ups, and monkey bars. My hands are finally building some calluses so the bars don’t hurt as much. It’s worth having “man hands” at OCS!

     Saturday morning before lunch, my platoon went to the National Infantry Museum near the Fort Benning main gate. The building was gorgeous and the exhibits were extremely detailed and interesting. I just wish I had more time to walk around and read every single placard. Maybe on one of these weekends when we get a pass (which will probably be after graduation, haha), I’ll go check the museum out again. (http://www.nationalinfantrymuseum.com/)
     There were some Basic Training soldiers at the museum as well. It was so funny to see how they react to “superiors”. I had a group of them get out of my way and stand at parade rest, haha. I couldn’t help but laugh and tell them to relax – besides, I’m only about 8 weeks and a Bachelor’s degree ahead of them in training. However, they were allowed to buy soda and candy, while all the OCS Candidates were staring in jealousy. How fair and ridiculously ironic is that?!

     After the NIM, we were on study barracks/personal time until lights out. Today (Sunday), we got news to start personal time at 1100!! With that news plus the coffee & cake I had this morning, I’m a pretty happy camper.

     If anything exciting happens today, I’ll update, but for right now, I’m going to enjoy my personal time! Have a great day & hooah!

Week 2 - Friday

     Holy crap today was fun! This morning we got to sleep in until 0530 (I actually had to wake up around 0430 because I had a ton of laundry to fold and I also had to take a shower), the weather was amazing during the LRC, and I am in love with my S1 job!

     The LRC was a total blast. Our challenges were set up over a 3-foot deep pool of water. For most of the challenges, we were required to move a set of wood planks & large ammo cans from one side of the pool to the other. The cadre pretty much forced us to jump in the water at one point, but there were a couple occasions where we legitimately fell into the water. Overall, my squad did a great job of working together and communicating. When I had the opportunity to be a squad leader for a couple of the challenges, I found some confidence and took charge, so I was pretty proud of myself. It was fun to get to know people in my squad a little better, which is important because I’ll be working with them pretty closely over the next couple months. They are all really cool people.

     This afternoon, we took the Call for Fire exam. I think I missed a couple, pretty much due to my inability to pay attention in class, haha. It gets soooooo boring – sometimes you really can’t help but nod off a little. Again, we only need a 70% to pass, and I definitely exceeded the standard, so I don’t have anything to worry about.

     I’m not here to be the best in the class; I’m here to do my personal best. I just hope that people don’t misconstrue that to mean that I have a lack of motivation, which is certainly not the case. I’m just trying to be realistic and honest with myself. There are very intelligent, physically fit people here, but I’m not here to compete with them. I’m at OCS to better myself. Competition can breed a lot of resentment if it is taken too far, so I’m going to do my best to encourage others and build up myself at the same time. I have no reason to want anyone else to fail. Hopefully everyone else here has the same mentality!

     My S1 job as a platoon secretary is a lot of work, but it definitely has its rewards! It’s nice being able to get to know my cadre on a more personal one-on-one level. I can get my foot in the door without seeming too over-zealous or like too much of a brown-noser.

     Welllllll, it’s looking like personal time is coming to a end. Tomorrow we are touring the National Infantry Museum (which is off-post!!) and probably having lots of study-barracks time – a.k.a. sit-in-your-room-and-look-busy time. Anyways, I hope this great feeling carries into the weekend! I’m feeling really motivated and excited for what’s in store!

Week 2 - Thursday

     Well, I conquered 2 big obstacles today – the first 4-mile Battalion run and the military intelligence exam. During the 4-mile run, I was in the very first rank for the whole company, and I was able to keep my pace and did not fall back at all. There were 3 people from my company that fell out of the run. One actually passed the finish line, but passed out from heat exhaustion within 10 feet of the line. Another fell out due to a hip injury, and the last just simply gave up. We ended up running about 4.5 miles in 37 minutes. Earlier in the day, I thought we had only run 4.2, but it turns out we ran a lot more than that! Hooah for us!

     The military intelligence exam was really easy! I think I only missed 1 question out of 30, and we needed a 70% (21/30) to pass. The only academic tests I am worried about are the history ones. I’ve heard they’re a doozy. BUT, I will take good notes and study my little butt off in order to pass. I’m not letting a stupid exam stand in my way of graduating OCS!

     We sat through a briefing about briefings, and also learned about military staff organization. Blah blah blah. Later tonight is a Bible study at the airborne chapel on Post. It will be great to get away from the “masses” tonight, have some pizza, read the Good Book, and relax. Tomorrow we get to sleep in until 0530 and skip morning PT! Our bodies are in dire need of rest and recovery. The run felt great this morning, but my legs are shot.

     Tomorrow we also have LRC, the Leader’s Reaction Course. It’s set up kind of like an obstacle course, where each squad has challenges to overcome in order to finish. At each challenge, a different person will be in charge of the squad, so everyone will get a chance to be a leader tomorrow. Hopefully we’ll get some cool pictures taken to post on our class’s flickr site. I’ll see if I can find the link to that site so y’all can check out pictures of our daily activities.

     Yesterday I found out that I am wait-listed for my BOLC B class in Fort Lee, VA. I’m not really sure what that means logistically, but I hope I am able to attend the class this fall, so I can get all of my training out of the way and get on with my civilian life. BOLC B is my career training. Since I am branched Transportation, I will be learning about the logistics of moving troops and the different types of transportation systems (air, water, ground). It is 15 weeks long, and set up kind of like college. I’ve heard that the military actually pays for a hotel room for me for the duration of the class. How sweet would that be after spending 5 ½ months living in Army barracks?!

     Anywho, I’m really looking forward to tomorrow and the weekend. I can’t believe I’ve already been here for 2 weeks! On Sunday, I will only have 10 weeks left (3 of which will be in the field, 2 will be cleaning equipment and conducting inspections, and the other 5 taking classes and tests). The only big challenges left are the release runs, ruck marches, and history tests. Lord knows I’ll be sending up quite a few prayers in these next few weeks – I’ll need all the help I can get!

Week 2 - Wednesday

     The day started out with some super intense arm & abdominal PT. So much for muscle recovery, huh? The males in my platoon don’t seem to understand that the females can’t do 300 pull-ups right after doing 8000 tricep dips. We (more like "I") physically can’t keep up – it’s pathetic. Tomorrow is our big Battalion run and they’re overworking us. I need to be careful here in order to prevent injuries.

     The WTBD & IMT today was really low key. We did a little bit of low/high crawling and 3-5 second rush as well as a SKED litter drag, but it was nothing too extreme. It was basically just classroom time but in a different setting. Super hot though. Super duper hot! I sweat through my ACUs at 10:00.

     I doubted myself a lot today. I worry too much about what people think. Maybe they think I’m dead weight because I’m not a PT stud, or I sometimes forget my chain of command. I want to improve, but it’s hard when you feel like you’re the worst at everything. I haven’t quite found my niche yet. Typically, I can say with confidence that I’m good at something. I’m not good at a whole lot of things at OCS, and it really brings down my morale. I’ve just gotta stay positive and stop believing all of these rumors going around on the CNN (candidate news network).

     On the bright side, I was elected by my Platoon Trainer (SFC Harris) to be our Platoon’s S1, which is basically a secretary. I am in charge of getting everyone’s paperwork and documents in order. Sounds like a fairly straight-forward position, and this way I can get to know my cadre better and earn some leadership points.

     Overall, today was kind of bland, but at least I can say I survived it and lived to see tomorrow. That’s the trick to surviving OCS – take it one day at a time!

Week 2 - Tuesday

     The 5-mile ruck march this morning was fairly painful – mostly because I was still sore from the AGR on Monday. My quads and hamstrings are really sore from the lunges. Plus, the pace for the ruck this morning was about 15:00, not the promised 17:30 pace. It felt like a power-walk. I sure hope the rest of the marches aren’t that fast, cause we’ll have our ACH (helmet) and IBA (bullet-proof vest) on for those. Boo hooo.

     We had classes in reading and military intelligence today. Both were sufficiently boring. Thursday is our military intelligence exam, so I’ll have to spend some time studying tonight during study barracks. We are also doing some WTBD (warrior tasks and battle drills) & IMT (individual movement techniques) tomorrow in the field. Hopefully it’s not too hot. I have a feeling I might be our first heat casualty for this OCS class. I don’t do so well in the heat or humidity.

     Tonight we had an extra hour of personal time, so I had a chance to relax and unwind after the long day. I’m praying for some muscle recovery tomorrow, but there are never any guarantees. OCS is probably the hardest thing (physically) I’ve ever done in my life. I’m gonna be one strong mama when I leave here!

Week 2 - Monday

     This morning started out with our first AGR run. We jogged 1.5 miles to Doughboy Stadium, ran sprints at the stadium, jogged back to the Battalion area, and did 100 meters of lunges to finish out the workout. Since my 2-mile run time was only around 16:00, I was placed in Delta group. There are some really fast runners at OCS. One guy in my platoon runs an 11-12:00 2-mile. I am nowhere near that pace. It must be nice not having to stress out about the PT portion of OCS. So far, that’s all that has really been on my mind. I am very worried about being able to keep up on the runs and marches. I’ve heard that if you fall out of a run or march, you get recycled to the next class. It would suck way too much to make it almost all the way to the end and then get recycled!

     During the day today, we had a class about Call for Fire. After a while, it seems almost impossible to stay awake. The instructor went really fast, and the class got over early. The night concluded with ruck-sack packing, study barracks, and personal time. Our 5-mile ruck march is tomorrow, and supposedly going to be a 17:30 pace, which is roughly 3-4 mph. The rucks are supposed to weigh around 25-33% of our body weight. My ruck is roughly 40lbs. I wanted to make sure my ruck would be heavy enough in case the cadre do PCC/PCI spot checks tomorrow. Tomorrow we also have classes in reading and military intelligence. Hopefully I can get some good sleep tonight so I can stay awake in class. At least our A/C is finally working so I won’t be sweating through the whole night!

HHC & Week 1

     The bus ride from Fort Jackson to Fort Benning could have been about 3 days longer. Six hours was not enough time to prepare mentally and physically for OCS. However, we were able to watch a few movies and catch some zzz’s. On the outskirts of Atlanta, we sat down for a nice lunch at Cracker Barrel. Conveniently, my parents were traveling the same route and ended up running into us when we ate lunch. It was very nice to see them one last time.

     Upon arrival at Fort Benning, our group in-processed at HHC. This included a lot of paperwork and photocopying. After dinner chow, we basically had personal time until lights out at 2200. The next morning, wake-up was a beautiful 0700 and the rest of the day consisted of chow and a 4-hour off-post pass to buy things for our packing list. On Sunday, we were able to attend church, where we had donuts and coffee. For the rest of Sunday, we participated in “area beautification” (i.e. raking, weed-picking, and edging).

     On Monday morning, we woke up around 0400 and took our “classing-up” PT test. I scored a 278, and met the PT cutoff of 260 for my class, 009-11 in Delta Company. After the PT test, we moved our bags from HHC to Delta Company. Considering how long the packing list was, I’m surprised I was able to move all of my bags in one trip. I had an Army duffel, two backpacks, and a huge rolling suitcase to carry across the Battalion in the humid Georgia heat. The rest of the day, or week for that matter, consisted of in-processing and long, boring briefs.

     We did have a few training events, however, with one being the CWST (Combat Water Survival Test). Considering my extreme fear of water, I did okay. The first event was a 15 meter swim in full ACUs, rubber M-16, and FLC vest. I attempted, but did not make it more than about 2 feet before they took my weapon away and told me to get out of the pool before I drowned. The second event was a blind drop from a 3 meter high dive in the same uniform as event 1. The trick to this event was holding onto the M-16 when you hit the water. Again, I attempted, but apparently forgot to tightly grip the weapon, so it flew out of my hands when I hit the water. The third event was an equipment ditch. I attempted the event, but was not able to take off my FLC vest fast enough before I broke the surface of the water. Unfortunately, I did not earn any points for the day, but I did pass the test, so I am not at risk for recycle. There were many others who were afraid of water, too, so I wasn’t the only CWST reject.

(me about to go off the 3 meter high dive)

(me on the verge of drowning)

(the equipment ditch)

     At night, during the first week, we mostly worked on our room set-up and barracks maintenance. There wasn’t a lot of studying to do during study barracks, but we were required to study things like the OCS Alma Mater, Chain of Command, General Orders, OCS Honor Code, etc.

     Chow has been the biggest struggle so far in OCS. Each company is allotted 30 minutes to prepare, eat, and clean-up. There is a detail crew that preps trays & silverware, glasses of Powerade and water, as well as cups of water at the exit door. Forced hydration is a big deal here. Since we are coming up on summer quickly, the cadre have been very strict about the amount of liquid we are drinking. At each meal, we are required to drink 2 glasses of Powerade, 2 glasses of water, and an additional cup of water after our meal. During the day, we are also required to sip on Gatorade and water. So, needless to say, we are very hydrated. It doesn’t leave much room (or time) for food, so most of our calories are coming from Gatorade.

(before we are allowed to enter & exit the chow hall, we have to complete 1 pull-up for every week we've been at OCS)

     The barracks are decent. I was spoiled at BCT with brand new barracks and DFAC (chow hall), so anything less than brand new seems dingy. I have 1 roommate, but other females have 2, with a total of 2-3 per room. We have 4 toilet stalls and 4 shower stalls in the latrine, so personal hygiene time is very limited. The cadre are very strict about lights out and personal time right now while we are getting accustomed to OCS. The only “free day” we really had was the Sunday after week 1, where we had about 5 hours of personal time in the evening. Otherwise, we are limited to 1 hour of personal time every night where we are allowed to use our computers and cell phones. Technically, we can use our computers during study barracks, but only for military purposes.

     So far, the first week was a success. In-processing briefs were really boring, but next week we’ll be delving into our classes like Military Intelligence and Call for Fire. The biggest struggle will be to stay awake. We’ll also be doing a lot more PT starting Monday with our first AGR. On Tuesday, we have our first 5-mile conditioning ruck march, and Thursday is our 4-mile Battalion run. I’ve heard that if I make it through these first few PT events, I should be golden for the rest of the cycle. With the grace of God, I will make it through and push the limits of my confidence and strength.